"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and be vibrantly alive in repose."
Human sexuality is the innate way humans communicate their erotic desires to each other.
Human sexuality is also a way to form deeper connections with another person, companionship, and intimacy besides procreation purposes. It involves intense emotions that encompass sexual touch, contact and eventually intercourse.
People unconsciously become attracted to each other and form bonds that can last a few days to years. During this time, an intricate courtship process takes place that involves physical and psychological processes and can lead to sexual intercourse.
These processes include:
Flirting is a process designed to attract the sexual attention of another person, and involves body language, slow paced conversation, humor and brief physical contact such as tapping on the other person’s knee or sharing the same eating utensils.
Seduction is the process of deliberately enticing a person of sexual/romantic interest. This involves the pursuer letting the other person know of its social value and status, as well as more frequent touching and sensual conversation.
Over time, if the strength of the attraction is intense, it can lead to arranging numerous meetings with the goal of investigating their suitability for a more serious intimate relationship.
While humans are sexual beings, and most of the way they express their sexual emotions is innate, their sexual behavior is also influenced by social, cultural, and environmental factors. The norms imposed by a culture often differs from others, from imposing strict regulations on the level of sexual interaction/communication between people to more liberal views as seen in the U.S and most Western countries.
The media makes the act of sex as a pleasurable and a gratifying physical event between two people.
However, it does not always happen so smoothly. Occasionally, a partner might not understand your preferences or they might have difficulty achieving the same level of arousal.
The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada recommends the following tips during sex:
Communicate with your partner your preferences when it comes to sex. Your partner cannot read your mind.
It is possible to try too hard. Focus on enjoying the process, not on whether or not you will have an orgasm.
If you or your partner are doing something pleasurable, encourage your mate to continue.
Learn to enjoy and feel comfortable with your sexuality. Your current inability to have an orgasm is not a reflection of your femininity, your psychological or emotional health. Putting yourself down just makes it that much more difficult.
Some women have trouble concentrating during sex. If that is the case, you may wish to fantasize, i.e., thinking about something sexual may excite you and may reduce negative emotions. If you feel that you are very close to achieving an orgasm, alternate tightening and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This may sometimes trigger a real orgasm.
For some couples, love making ends once the man ejaculates. Often, at this point the woman is very aroused. If this is the case, you might ask your partner to continue stimulating you with his hands or his mouth once he is finished. Some women feel uncomfortable doing this, thinking that this would be selfish or that their partner would be bored. In fact, your partner may enjoy giving you pleasure. Rather than being selfish, you are giving your partner the chance to please you.
What about Vibrators?
Vibrators, either plug-in or cordless, supply more intense stimulation than can be obtained with either intercourse or manual stimulation. They can be especially helpful if you have an illness that makes it hard to reach orgasm, such as multiple sclerosis. They can be used by you or together with your partner as part of your love making.
The following research findings, taken ad verbatim from the The Kinsey Institute show the following:
Women are much more likely to be nearly always or always orgasmic when alone than with a partner. However, among women currently in a partnered relationship, 62% say they are very satisfied with the frequency/consistency of orgasm (Davis, Blank, Hung-Yu, & Bonillas, 1996).
10% of men and 18% of women reported a preference for oral sex to achieve orgasm (Janus & Janus, 1993).
According to Gebhard and Johnson (1979), the average erect penis of males in the US is 5-7 inches and the average circumference is 4-6 inches.
Sexual dissatisfaction is associated with increased risk of divorce and relationship dissolution. (Karney, 1995).
Males 30-44 report an average of 6-8 female sexual partners in their lifetime (Mosher, Chandra, & Jones, 2005).
Females 30-44 report an average of 4 male sexual partners in their lifetime (Mosher, Chandra, & Jones, 2005).
Please visit the following links:
Female Orgasms: Myths and Facts. The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada (SOGC)
Davis, C.M., Blank, J., Hung-Yu, L., & Bonillas, Consuelo. Characteristics of vibrator use among women. Journal of Sex Research, 1996; 33(4), 313-320.
Janus, S., and Janus, C. The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior. 1993. New York: John Wiley & Sons.
Karney, B. R. and T. N. Bradbury (1995). "The longitudinal course of marital quality and stability: A review of theory, methods, and research " Psychological Bulletin 118(1): 3-34.
Mosher WD, Chandra A, Jones J. Sexual behavior and selected health measures: Men and women 15–44 years of age, United States, 2002. Advance data from vital and health statistics; no 362. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2005.
Pinkerton, S.D., Bogart, L.M., Cecil, H., & Abramson, P.R. Factors associated with masturbation in a collegiate sample. Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality, 2002; 103-121.
Updated: May 5, 2012
Article created: September 10, 2010